Choose Wisely: Repentance and Pain in the Age of Indulgence
“Job” by Léon Bonnat
In my house we love the Indiana Jones movies. My personal favorite is the third film, “The Last Crusade,” which finds Indiana on a mission to rescue his father Henry Jones Sr. who, while pursuing the legendary Holy Grail, falls into the hands of Nazis who seek the power of the cup of Christ for their own malevolent purposes. At the climax of the film Jones must correctly identify the Grail from among many cups of varying shapes, sizes and ornateness, to save his father who lies mortally wounded. Drinking from the Grail is his only hope for survival. As Jones calculates his choice, the last remaining knight of the Crusades, kept alive by the power of drinking from the Grail, admonishes him to “…choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.” Obviously historical and factual accuracy are not the primary concerns of the script writers. However, the film achieves what good fiction does: it articulates the heart of something true. The insight that all Christians should recognize in the Grail Knight’s warning is the implication that our ability to perceive eternal truth is deeply tied to whether we have wisdom.
Wisdom is not the ability to recall information, nor is it even deep knowledge that comes after years of study. Wisdom is a gift that comes only from God, born exclusively from a life of intimate proximity to him. In chapter 28 of Job, after a season of relentless tragedy takes everything precious from him, Job considers the futility of human effort. “People…lay bare the roots of the mountains /…their eyes see all its treasures. / They…bring hidden things to light. / But where can wisdom be found? / Where does understanding dwell? / No mortal comprehends its worth; / it cannot be found in the land of the living.” (Job 28. 9-13) In a moment of revelation, Job understands wisdom cannot be possessed or discovered through human means.
Throughout his suffering Job appeals to God asking questions every person asks when the cause of misfortune is not clear.
Why was I born?
Why is this happening to me?
Does my faith in God matter if it dies with me at the end of my life?
He is a man in crisis; his understanding of reality is shattered. When God finally addresses Job, rather than answer his questions, God demands Job “…brace himself like a man…” and answer his queries. What follows is some of the most beautiful verse written in the entirety of scripture. Question after question, the Lord executes a divine inquisition that restores Job’s understanding of reality and self, while also tearing down false, human-centered wisdom.
“…Job replied to the Lord: / I know that you can do all things; / no purpose of yours can be thwarted… / Surely I spoke of things I did not understand… / now my eyes have seen you. / Therefore I despise myself / and repent in dust and ashes (Job. 42. 2-6).”
It’s tempting to read those last few lines and interpret them as humility under duress. But what if they are actually the key to receiving wisdom? Job surrenders to God’s will and order without full comprehension of its scope and implication for his life, because he now rightly understands himself in proximity to the source of, not only his existence, but existence itself. Wisdom is perceiving reality correctly.
When I was a child, my father regularly took me and my sister to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. He was an artist, and in addition to enjoying the exhibits, he taught us about art during our visits. We discussed color, perspective and on a particularly formative occasion, perception. One afternoon while looking at sculptures, my father remarked that every person observing a particular sculpture saw a different sculpture. Thinking he misspoke, I corrected him, saying that everyone saw a different part of the sculpture. This was my introduction to the concept of perception as reality. I was adamant there was one sculpture and whether or not we saw it differently, the sculpture existed, whole and objective in its entirety, independent of my ability to see the whole thing. I didn’t know it at the time, but this was my introduction to faith.
As Christians in the West, we encounter substantial hurdles in the pursuit of God’s wisdom. More often than not, Western faith is shaped in a cultural context that abhors exclusive truth claims and prizes individual liberty above all else. Every person’s reality is unique; everyone lives his or her own “truth.” For Christians, our task must be adhering to the discipline of surrender, not only to God’s presentation of himself, but also to the truth of a cosmological reality specifically ordered upon him alone. I fear our abandonment of the central claims of the historic church finds us in the midst of a profound existential crisis. This crisis is characterized by our confused relationship with secular culture which produces perpetually milk-fed disciples. The assumption that we can answer the exclusive covenantal call of Christianity, and keep other ideological mistresses, is false. This perspective is the result of cultural pluralism which erroneously claims there are no absolute truths. But the power of Christianity is not in an idea, but in the person of Jesus Christ, whose healing and holy presence dwells in us when we yield solely to his Lordship. Under the yoke of his mercy we can know true freedom and unconditional love no matter our circumstances.
Job’s revelation of his need to repent is a direct result of being in the presence of God. His world view, articulated in his emotions and opinions collide with the phenomena of the God who “…laid the foundations of the Earth.” He can muster nothing but a posture of humility and worship. His confession of despising himself is not a statement of self-loathing, but rather an abdication of his authority in exchange for the Lord's. When faced with the utter goodness and perfection of God’s created order, Job chooses to reside fully within it; consequently, the Lord uses him as an instrument of mercy on behalf of his family and friends.
The church’s presence in the world is the response to the same encounter. Our witness to the world must be that we know the living God in the person of Jesus Christ, not a philosophical, political, or social perspective. While the Incarnation has powerful implications for matters relating to politics and society, I submit that holy reform in those arenas is best effected by individuals, transformed by heaven’s love, responding to a specific call from God. Systemically communicating God’s will and intention strictly in social and political terms strips him of his eternal relevance and defines him according to the ephemeral mores and circumstances of a particular moment in history. The willingness of some in the church to usurp authorship of God’s plan for reconciliation and identity, on behalf of power-seeking agendas, demonstrates not only arrogance but a shocking lack of foresight. Our generation is not the triumphant pinnacle of human excellence, neither will the next one be. Change is inevitable. For those who trade in the currency of worldly power, wealth is only as secure as one’s ability to suppress those who would take power from them.
Our resistance to acknowledging sin is evidence that we continue to be formed in the image of the serpent’s lie that God does not want his children to be like him, therefore we must grasp power for ourselves. Christians must be formed by the truth that out of Fatherly love for us, God became human to show us what being like him looked like. God wants his children to be like him in virtue and in power. He tells us repeatedly in scripture that the path to fulfilling the family resemblance lies within seeking his presence and growing wise in discerning what is holy and unholy. It is by God’s design of temple sacrifice that the Israelites are restored to God’s presence; and by Christ’s sacrifice that we are made acceptable and living temples for the Holy Spirit. Joyful union with the Lord is all but inevitable for his children, if we will just conform to the influence of his presence within us. Paul writes to the Romans, “I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Rom.12:1-2).”
In the final scenes of “The Last Crusade,” before Jones makes his choice, the villain of the film faces the same dilemma of which cup to choose. The cup he drinks from proves fatal and the Grail Knight states the obvious, “He chose…poorly.” The villain’s fateful choice was inevitable; he entered the situation with bad knowledge. As he fills the gold and emerald encrusted goblet with water, he remarks that it certainly is a cup fit for the King of kings. We often make the same mistake this man makes. We survey what the world offers us and we choose what we believe leads to eternal life, according to what most resembles our motives and goals. The Lord is not a prop in a story of our personal devising.
Chapter 9 verse 10 of Proverbs tells us, “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” This simple phrase encompasses so much more than acknowledgement of a sovereign deity. These words are a single thread in an infinite tapestry of a God centered worldview of existence that followers of Christ will spend their lives trying to see. Surrendering to the discipline of seeking God is not easy. Repentance is not painless. But if we can stay in his presence, we will grow wise enough to know it is from Christ that the words of eternal life come.
Maggie Ulmer is Managing Editor for Firebrand. She also co-hosts Plain Truth: A Holy Spirited Podcast and serves on the Board of Directors for Spirit & Truth.