“Sin is Lurking at the Door”: The Root of Bitterness and the Work of Forgiveness
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God spoke to Cain: “Sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it” (Genesis 4:7). Cain did not master his sin, but it mastered him. The result was fratricide.
In various ways, this story has repeated itself across history. Resentment, anger, envy, and bitterness take root and spring up, and soon we taste their bitter fruit. Thus Hebrews 12:14-15 teaches us, “Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many become defiled.” Important here is the idea that when the root of bitterness springs up among Christians, it is because we have failed to obtain God’s grace. We have neglected or resisted it. When God’s grace is at work, the root of bitterness will die, and our hearts and lives will come into alignment with God’s will.
We long talked about “amicable separation” in The United Methodist Church, but this was always wishful thinking. The separation has not been amicable. It’s been contentious, at times downright nasty. The “Paul and Barnabas'' moment many of us hoped for never transpired. Our better angels have not prevailed, and many of us bear the emotional and spiritual scars of this internecine battle.
Different churches and annual conferences are at different stages in the process of separation. Some have moved fully into post-separation life. Some churches, particularly in Africa, are still in the thick of it. Some are hoping that another exit path emerges at the UMC’s 2024 General Conference. Eventually, though, we will all be on the other side of this division, and the matters that have occupied our hearts and minds for so long will be behind us. How will these painful experiences affect the ways in which we move forward?
Getting to the other side of this conflict does not mean we will be free and clear of its danger. Quite the opposite. The root of bitterness grows up quickly in wounded hearts. There’s a reason the Bible so often teaches about matters like envy, anger, resentment, and forgiveness. In Mark 11:25, for example, Jesus teaches, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Paul reinforces this teaching in Colossians 3:13: “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Likewise in Ephesians 4:31-32 he writes, “Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” Our wise and just God has taught us through his Scriptures to pull up the root of bitterness before it can grow up in our communities of faith.
As the UMC and the GMC go our separate ways, if we allow the root of bitterness to find purchase, we will soon end up back in the trenches of ecclesiastical warfare. Bitterness and unforgiveness create a repetitive cycle. Going forward, it is imperative that we change our habits of mind. Or, in more specifically Christian terms, it is imperative that we seek God’s grace in the renewing of our minds, so that we can move ahead with the work of the church unimpeded by old wounds.
In the interest of our common goal of serving Christ, then, I’ll offer a few suggestions for ways in which we might heal and come into agreement with the will of God for the life of faith:
Engage in self-examination: How have you sinned in the midst of this division? How have your thoughts, words, and deeds fallen short of your Christian calling? Have you hurt other people? Do you still bear resentment, or something worse, toward those on the other side of this division?
Repent: to the extent that you have sinned in the midst of the anger of separation, confess your sins and repent. If you have a class or band meeting, that’s a great place to confess. For me, the cardinal sin I’ve violated most often is that of wrath. I’ve been really angry at times, and as a result I haven’t always acted in ways consistent with my Christian witness. We all react to stress and conflict in different ways, and perhaps you’ve sinned differently than I have. Whatever the case, it’s important that we identify our sins, name them, and repent of them.
Seek the inner work of healing: Perhaps you need to vent with your friends, being clear that you just need to get these things off of your chest. Perhaps you need to journal in order to gain clarity about your own feelings, the hurt you carry, and perhaps even guilt about your own actions. For me, it’s helpful to talk to a Christian therapist now and again. My therapist doesn’t have a horse in this race, and she can help me to understand my actions and feelings in ways that I wouldn’t necessarily see on my own.
Forgive: This is the hardest part, at least for me. Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to us. Vengeance is natural. To hold grudges is natural. To forgive is supernatural. When we forgive, it is the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts that allows us to do so. In all honesty, we may not want to forgive other people at all. Nevertheless Jesus did not give us the option. He is not an advice columnist. He is our Lord. His words are not helpful recommendations. They are commands. “Forgive us our trespasses,” he taught us to pray, “as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Our forgiveness is predicated upon the forgiveness we extend to those who have wronged us. With characteristic insightfulness C. S. Lewis comments on this teaching of Jesus:
To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian charity; it is only fairness. To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life—to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son—how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.” We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says (The Weight of Glory).
If we carry the root of bitterness forward into our ecclesial communities, whether Global Methodist, United Methodist, or something else, it will poison all that we do. The temptation is to hang on to our resentment. After all, it reinforces our belief that we are in the right, our opponents were in the wrong, and all that we have done is justified. And yet this way of thinking is inconsistent with the Christian life. To put it more plainly, it is sinful. The care we take of our hearts and minds, the extent to which we seek God’s renewing grace, will determine much of what happens among our communities of faith moving forward. Sin is lurking at the door. Its desire is for us, but we must master it.
David F. Watson is Academic Dean and Professor of New Testament at United Theological Seminary, and is Lead Editor of Firebrand.