The #tradwife Movement and Christian Womanhood

Recently when I browse social media, I seem to encounter a number of reels and posts with the hashtag #tradwife. These posts are usually related to marriage, motherhood, and homemaking, and made by stay-at-home moms who homeschool their many children, sew their own clothes, and bake bread from scratch. The typical #tradwife tends to run in more conservative evangelical or fundamentalist circles, and in her reels, she presents her understanding of what it means to be a godly Christian woman as a wife and a mother. As a movement, the #tradwife hashtag is a reaction against secular feminism by women who desire to return to what they view as the traditional role of women in society.  While much of what is shared by these #tradwife women on social media is innocuous, at least on the surface, there is an underlying theological subtext to their content that states that their expression of womanhood, as married homemakers and mothers, is the apex of Christian womanhood. 

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with being a wife and mother. Further, there is nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to stay home to care for her family, rather than pursue a career or work outside of the home. As a wife and a mother of two young children, I, too, find myself in a season of life in which I have chosen to serve as the primary caregiver for my daughters while my husband works outside of the home. However, I’m also an ordained minister. I recently graduated with my PhD and work part-time from home as an adjunct seminary professor. I understand the tension that exists for many women between the pull of marriage and children and family life and the pull of career, education, and work. I write here not to further any argument between “traditional” perspectives on gender roles and feminism, or to get into the weeds of complementarianism vs. egalitarianism, or to argue for a particular position related to these debates. Instead, I will examine what it is to be a Christian woman, because the #tradwife movement's viral presentation of a stay-at-home wife and mother as the gold standard of Christian womanhood is problematic. To be a Christian woman must mean more than what the #tradwife hashtag presents.

In my PhD research I studied the U.S. Latino/a community, specifically researching the role that immigrant Latina mothers had on the religious identity formation of their next-generation children raised in the United States. In my ethnographic research, I interviewed Latina mothers and their adult children, asking questions about religious and cultural beliefs and practices, listening to the stories of their families, and hearing their testimonies of God's faithfulness woven throughout the experience of mothering cross-culturally. The mothers I interviewed consistently emphasized how important it was to raise their children in the Christian faith and likewise, their adult children consistently referred to their mother's influential role in teaching them about God. In anthropology we observe the meaningful role that mothers play in carrying and preserving culture as they pass on cultural memory. And because of the inextricable connection between culture and religion, there is a meaningful role that mothers play in passing on the Christian faith to subsequent generations.  If the role of a mother in a Christian household, and therefore the role of a spiritual mother in the family of faith, is to pass on the faith, to teach it to her children, then she must carry spiritual authority. All the next-generation Latino/as that I interviewed in my research attributed to their mother's foundational and formational influence upon their own religious faith. Further, many of them spoke of the spiritual leadership that their mothers held in their homes and in the lives of their families. Many led their families into the life of the church. Anthropologically speaking, the role of a mother is to carry and preserve culture, to pass down her cultural memory. For a Christian mother, religious life is a significant aspect of this cultural memory. Christian mothers are carriers and preservers of the faith, with the spiritual authority to pass this faithful heritage on to the next generation. 

The above statement would likely be heartily accepted by many #tradwife Christian moms who see their motherhood as a divine calling, as many of my interviewees also did. But, of course, not all women are mothers. Not all women are called to be mothers. And mothering is not the only divine calling given to women. The idea of the ideal Christian woman should not be conditioned by maternity. The task of spiritual mothering within the church, of passing on the heritage of faith, is of utmost importance, but it is not only the task of mothers. In her book Abuelita Faith, author Kat Armas speaks of the significance of not only mothers but grandmothers, aunts, and godmothers in the passing down of spiritualized cultural memory within the Latino/a community.  She shares how the women in her culture collectively mentor and minister to the next generation, teaching religious beliefs and practices to preserve them in the next generation. While the formal role of “godmothers” is not prevalent in many church communities, there is nevertheless a need within the church family for women to inhabit this role. The church needs spiritual mothers to be involved in the discipleship formation of the next generation of Christians. Not all Christian women will have their own children to disciple, but all Christian women can be involved in spiritually mothering within the church family. This doesn’t mean that all Christian women are supposed to help in the nursery or with children’s or youth ministries.  The family of faith looks different from the world’s idea of family; people can become new believers at any age and will benefit from having spiritual mothers to walk with them and teach them the way of following Jesus. 

The Christian woman's identity, spiritual authority, and her role within the church are not tied to her social positions as a wife and mother. Instead, the ideal Christian woman derives her identity, spiritual authority, and role from her relationship with Jesus. When looking at Scripture to find understanding around the ideas of Christian womanhood, I came to the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha seems to fulfill the role as the quintessential #tradwife. Though we read nothing of her marital or maternal status, we see her fulfilling the societal expectations of a woman in her culture. She is busy doing all the work preparing for and hosting guests, and she thinks that Mary should also do so.  Martha complains to Jesus about how Mary isn’t doing what she is supposed to be doing. Jesus doesn’t tell Martha that what she is doing is wrong and has no value, but he contrasts her with Mary who, Jesus says, has chosen what is better. Mary can be found in the room, alongside the men, sitting at Jesus’ feet. She has taken a position of learning from the Rabbi, demonstrating that she wants to be his disciple. She is also seated in a room among men, demonstrating that she can follow Jesus, as they can. Mary is stepping outside of the expected norms, identifying herself with Jesus, saying she wants to learn from him and be like him. The better understanding of a Christian woman is not as one who fits a certain societal expectation or role, but as one who identifies herself with Jesus and seeks to follow him. It is from this position of discipleship that Christian women derive the spiritual authority that is carried into their homes and families and into the family of God. As mothers of the church, who carry and preserve the faith, we derive our identity and spiritual leadership from our relationship with Jesus.

I have not addressed Christian men or spiritual fatherhood. Those aren't the topics of this piece. Nevertheless, I want to speak briefly to Mary’s position sitting alongside the men and its implications. Mary doesn’t relate to Jesus through her brother, but rather she has a direct relationship with Jesus. She sits alongside the men as fellow followers of Jesus in a way reminiscent of the wife and husband team of Priscilla and Aquila in Acts whom Paul calls his co-laborers in the gospel. Jesus’ invitation to follow him comes to both women and men and throughout Scripture we see women working with men in partnership in the Kingdom of God. 

Christian women, regardless of the children they have or their marital status, regardless of the specific ways in which they live out their calling, have an important role to fulfill in carrying and preserving the faith as spiritual mothers who raise spiritual sons and daughters into the family of God, co-laboring with the Christian men who also seek to follow Jesus. If representatives of the #tradwife movement teach those in their care to love and follow Jesus, that is what matters above all, but that can look like so many things. It doesn't have to fit a prescribed idea of what a traditional woman looks like. Womanhood from a Christian perspective should look like somebody who follows Jesus. A Christian woman should find her identity in her relationship with Jesus. A Christian woman should derive her spiritual calling and authority from her relationship to Jesus. And a Christian woman should understand her role in her family, society, and the church, through her relationship with Jesus.  So, go make sourdough starter or not, homeschool your children or be the CEO of a business, but if you're a Christian woman, take up the authority, woman of God, to teach, to preserve and carry the faith, that you may birth spiritual children who also seek to follow Jesus.

Rebekah Clapp is an adjunct professor at both Asbury Theological Seminary and United Theological Theological Seminary. She is a member of the Firebrand Editorial Board.