What the Hex?! Disaffiliation Rhetoric Gone Awry

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This current season in the United Methodist Church has resulted in deep grief as one annual conference after another has held disaffiliation votes, resulting in hundreds of churches at a time leaving the denomination. As I write this, 5,453 churches have been approved for disaffiliation, with more to come. In some cases the process has gone relatively smoothly, with words of blessing flowing across the disaffiliation vote. But this past week the levels of anger, frustration, and grief rose to a new level as one pastor prayed a “holy hex” upon the disaffiliation.

The Prayer and the Aftermath

In the East Ohio Annual Conference on June 8, Pastor Derek Kubilus led the prayer prior to the vote to approve the disaffiliation of 237 churches (36%) of the conference. The following is a transcript of his prayer (see 3:05:25–3:09:34):

Holy God, it is only because you have gathered us together, that we can now stand before you. It is only because you have reconciled the world to yourself, through your Son, Jesus Christ, that you have given us, the people called Methodist in East Ohio, his ministry of reconciliation, that we might be his hands and feet in the world, and that the world might come to know him by witnessing our love for one another. 

Yet we confess, we stand here divided, disunited, discouraged, disillusioned, and about to be disaffiliated. We dare not ask you, O God, to bless this work of disaffiliation that we are all about to do, no more than we would ask you to bless a work of idolatry or fornication. Breaking up the church is dirty business, O God, and we will not pretend otherwise. For truly, as Saint Paul said, we know not what we do. For what we want to do, we do not do, and we do the evil that we do not want to do. And so we can only throw ourselves at the foot of your cross and beg your forgiveness once again, knowing that you will bless us whatever we do, in our churches, in our denominations, and all the ministries that we carry forth will have the guidance of your Holy Spirit. 

But before we go and do what we're gonna do, since we won't ask you to bless the disaffiliation itself, then I guess we need to ask you to put a holy hex on it, God, that in the days and weeks and years ahead, you would wilt the seed of disunity we plant here today, that you would shrivel and melt away all our angst, all our frustration, all our devout desire for division, and we would walk from this place with a holy thorn in our side pricking us day and night, until we finally reach that glorious reconciliation of all things under Christ Jesus, or—dare we hope—until some fateful day on this side of the Jordan, when all the broken brethren of John and Charles will once again join hands, and this world will know we are Christians, not by our schism, not by our judgment, not by our condemnation of one another, but by our love for all your people. 

In the name of Christ—the conqueror of hell, the one who always saves us from ourselves—we pray, amen.

Almost immediately, many pastors and laity in the conference took to social media to report their astonishment and offense at a Methodist pastor calling for a hex upon brothers and sisters in Christ.  

Although Bishop Tracy Malone initially responded to the prayer with an “amen” and thanked Kubilus for the prayer, after the lunch break she made a statement in which she said that at the time she “was caught off guard” by the use of the word “hex,” and in the moment did not have the words to address it. Bishop Malone said she wanted to acknowledge that “there was harm felt” by the use of the word “hex” and that she did not endorse the use of the word. She made it clear that the laity and clergy who are asked to pray at annual conference prepare their own prayers. The intent of these prayers is to draw us nearer to the heart of God, she stated, and she hoped that—despite the strong language—the conference would be able to receive “the intent and blessing of the prayer” (for her statement, see 5:26:12–5:28:58 of the video).

The next day Kubilus reportedly offered a public apology, although I have not seen a video of his statement. 

Language Matters

The prayer demonstrates the depth of grief that many people feel in the disaffiliation process. This is true for both those who are staying and those who are leaving. Lifelong Methodists—some of whom come from generations of committed Methodists—have experienced a deep sense of loss as their conscience leads them to find a more vibrant and faithful expression of Wesleyan ideals. 

But grief can lead us to make extreme statements, and a public stage can bring pressure to create rhetorical flair. Kubilus’s prayer is rife with deep emotion and strident language, describing the disaffiliation process as a sin on par with idolatry and, ironically, fornication. Thus, he cannot bring himself to ask God to bless the disaffiliation. Instead, he chooses the alliterative phrase “holy hex” to ask God to destroy the disunity and return the church to a united Methodism. 

But using language stemming from witchcraft is utterly inappropriate for any pastor to use, let alone a pastor speaking of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. One could split hairs and say that the prayer did not call for a curse on individuals or churches, but on the process of disaffiliation itself. But there’s no getting around the fact that the disaffiliation process involves individuals and churches who make these decisions; if you hex the process, you hex the people. How could such a prayer be pleasing to God, who out of love sent his son to give his life to redeem these people—not curse them?

While it is easy to criticize the strong language of this prayer, it should serve as a warning to all of us. I have heard many nasty comments from traditionalists as well as progressives in this process, as a quick scroll through social media will attest. Yet James 3:5b-10 reminds us:

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of life, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth comes a blessing and a curse. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

It is when we are most emotionally vulnerable that we are least capable of taming the tongue. But, despite our pain and grief, the people of God—traditionalists and progressives alike—must find ways to express these emotions in a manner that builds up the church and all those within it. 

A Better Prayer

In an annual conference filled with vastly differing opinions, a conference about to break apart, a conference full of wounded people on both sides, the prayer prior to the disaffiliation vote might instead have avoided theological self-righteousness by asking God to bless all people as they pursue his will:

Lord God, as you have told us in your Word, 

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal;
a time to break down and a time to build up;
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek and a time to lose;
a time to keep and a time to throw away;
a time to tear and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace (Eccl. 3:1-8).

So now we find ourselves in a time of brokenness and mourning. Comfort your people, strengthen the weak, and bring us to a time of healing and peace. We ask that you would bless those who go and bless those who stay. Lead us in your path by the power of your Holy Spirit. Help us to be a faithful people, wherever you call us. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.

Suzanne Nicholson is a former member of the East Ohio Annual Conference. She is Professor of New Testament at Asbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky, and an Elder in the Global Methodist Church. She serves as Assistant Lead Editor of Firebrand.